Find the courage to heal and feel alive
Transform your life with growth and presence coaching
Coaching
Growth and Presence
Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing.” W.B. Yeats
Learn to live your life in growth and with presence and you will experience true fulfilment. These are the keys. Focus on becoming who you truly want to be, what you really want to have, whilst stilling the inner voice and folding fully into the journey. Most people move through life shaped by old stories, repeating patterns, assuming they have found their place in the world, even when they don’t like it. The look of dullness in the eyes, the apologetic tone of voice, even sometimes the greyness of complexion. Hearts that are a little bit broken and heavy with fear. None of this is necessary and coaching can give you back to yourself, give you purpose and deliver lasting change. Uncovering a passion for growth is a joyous experience. Research shows that setting challenging objectives literally changes the brain for the better. When you are younger your brain develops whether you decide you want to help it or not. As an adult you have the choice. The right coaching will challenge and support you to keep growing throughout your life, keep feeling the bliss of expansion. Mind has a tendency to choose the past or future over the present. A Harvard university study tracked the thoughts and activities of thousands of volunteers, ultimately discovering that over 50% the participants were not thinking about the activity they were engaged in. Half a life wasted in endless, repetitive chatter. I hear people talking about time flies - it does not have to - as you grow learn to be more present, gaining more life, more time as you become who you want to be and have what you want to have. Learn to be present whilst growing and you have mastery, you have freedom. Deepening your awareness and sensitivity to each unfolding moment will dissolve resistance and transform experience. Presence is the natural state, joyful, serene and totally alive. Growth is a universal value. This coaching brings both together.
Feeling
Feeling is how you experience aliveness. Thought can give you concepts, a sense of security in beliefs, but if you do not feel you are not really alive. Remember those peak moments and those small pleasures and it is a whole-body energy experience, not a set of ideas or conclusions.
Sometimes I see a beautiful tree or a flock of birds and an ecstatic wave pulses through my being. I was never taught to cultivate this, never taught to value feeling. Talking in this way, with friends, colleagues or family would have been met with ridicule. Talking about difficult feelings would have been met with contempt.
We are taught at a young age to resist feeling, to perceive feeling without trust, to act out or push down. As we age this becomes both subtle and habitual. We suppress challenging feelings and create a dull, constant background anxiety.
People everywhere have the tone of their existence set by anxiety, addictive behaviours, numbing jobs and stuck relationships. And a terror of genuine self-expression.
When you unconsciously resist painful feelings, you erode your capacity to feel joyous ones. You forget how to love and fear of pain dictates your action and expression from the shadows. You are trapped. Recovering your felt sense and accepting pain will free you.
You can learn to sense and become fully present to the energy signature of feeling in your body. There is a magic here. Old wounds heal, self-worth grows and the voice in your head becomes still and calm. Authenticity becomes a lived value, as the rationalisations you make, the compromises, no longer convince you, no longer hold sway. A shattering but liberating moment arrives when see and feel how fear has shaped and controlled you. Then you can start to move forward. Only then.
Relearning how to feel is the reverse of boiling the frog. It's the deep healing of old wounds and discovery of unbounded life energy. It is freedom.
community
A seeker of true fulfilment should be inherently suspicious of any community. Groups tend to have answers rather than questions, agendas rather than creativity, and hierarchies, sometimes implicit, sometimes not, but usually present. It’s a core tension of the human experience, the need for freedom jostling with the need for connection. The latter usually wins out and fails to deliver the former. To borrow a justifiably famous quote from Men in Black ‘A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.’
Groups have rules. Some are explicit and some are not. It’s the implied boundaries, the roles, the things you cannot say, that define if a group is operating for the growth of the members, or in order to perpetuate itself and feed the egos of its leaders. If someone breaks an explicit rule there is a reprimand; however when the implicit system is breached, exile for the member is usually the outcome. Humiliation and banishment. Think of the shuddering silence, the eyes that say, ‘You can’t say that here!’ when an unspoken boundary is crossed, a challenge is made. Theparticipant feels these lines and walks boldly over them, curving and warping the subtle geometry of consensus.
We aim to build something different. Groups that are resonant, self-organising and continually reflective. A community without any agenda other than the awakening of its participants. Our community will support you to find and walk your own path to freedom. And challenge you to move beyond self-deception, fear and bypassing. To become a sage not a saint.
You will learn to coach and be coached on the principles of real transformation, creating relationships and a group foundation that will las. in this coaching you’ll have a personal action plan to take away and the forming group will hold you accountable to it. Join and come alive.
Setting Goals
Tropes tend to emerge when you ask people what they want. What their desires are, what their vision is, what their goals are.
Some people get a little confused, like the concept is strange to them. Some are in deep pain and have no idea what they want. It can be easier to ask what they don’t want. I’ve never come across anyone who can’t talk at length about what they do not want. It is powerful to have someone lay out all their problems challenge them to come up with ideas for solutions.
Spiritual people often claim they are trying to transcend desire, and that goals are a product of the ego. Buddha may have ascended to this state but most people I know on this path are just avoiding taking responsibility for who they genuinely are. Growth is the reason we are here, the most natural impulse, and awareness is of a becoming, not a being. Who will you decide to become?
Others say setting goals is a recipe for misery and that driven people are never happy, always moving from one objective to the next. There are people like this, but they fail to see that getting what you want is just a byproduct, it’s about who you are becoming in the process. A focused person overcoming challenges and working towards meaningful objectives is alive, happy and not ruled by fear.
Take the time to understand who you want to become, then craft carefully chosen objectives to give direction to the unfolding of your identity.
